Well, hey y’all. They took the left turns off US-421 in North Wilkesboro, and now Walmart is right there across the road and you cannot get to it. So I did what any reasonable man would do. I wrote a Christmas song about it.
U-Turn Lane to Walmart is the first single from my 2026 Christmas album, and I believe it covers the most important news story in Wilkes County since the Taco Bell sinkhole. It’s free to listen to and free to download, same as always.
The song
It’s a Christmas Eve drive down 421 to get one loaf of bread. Walmart’s on the left, but you can’t turn left from here, so it’s right at Winkler Mill and off to hunt the U-turn sign. Forty laps past the same Tractor Supply later, the good old boys in their lawn chairs have waved twenty times, Santa and Randolph can’t make the U-turn either, and I end up at Lowe’s Foods with a loaf of store brand bread.
The music video rides the real 421 in North Wilkesboro by day, at twilight and at night, with a GPS that still thinks it’s 2005 and tags on every building for what it used to be. Ollie’s used to be Big Lots, which used to be Lowe’s Foods. Lowe’s Foods used to be Walmart. And the Taco Bell is just a field now. Rest in peace.
New Christmas album November 27
This is the first taste of my new Christmas album, coming out the day after Thanksgiving, November 27. While you wait, every one of my old Christmas albums is free in the Christmas record bin at briankilby.com/christmas.
Lyrics
Verse 1
Dashing down 421
In a pickup full of cheer
Walmart’s on the left, but I can’t turn left from here
Turn right at Winkler Mill, then hunt that U-turn sign
By the time I make it back around, it’s Christmas Eve at nine
Chorus
Oh, U-turn lane, U-turn lane
Round and round we go
Past that same Tractor Supply sign, forty times or so
Oh, U-turn lane, U-turn lane
Spinning in my head
Walmart’s right there across the road
Lord, I just need bread
Verse 2
Them good old boys in lawn chairs, wrapped up in Christmas lights
Wave at me each time I pass, I’ve seen ’em twenty times tonight
Verse 3
Santa come down 421
With a sleigh full of toys
For all the Wilkes County girls and all the Wilkes County boys
Randolph said turn left here
GPS said turn right
Now they’re doing U-turns past the Sonic, it’ll take all night
Bridge
Them reindeer looked at Santa, said, “Oh man, we’re through”
We’ve flown around the whole wide world
But we can’t make this U-turn too
Verse 4
So I went to Lowe’s Foods
Bless my weary soul
Bought a loaf of store brand bread
And drove home through the U-turn hole
Last chorus
Oh, U-turn lane, U-turn lane
Round and round we go
Past that same Tractor Supply sign, forty times or so
Oh, U-turn lane, U-turn lane
Spinning in my head
Walmart’s right there across the road
Oh, Lord, I just need bread
Lord, I just need bread
Before you go
If you need anything from Amazon, toilet paper, toothpaste, paper towels, fishin’ line, Aspercream, whatever, go through BrianKilby.com/Amazon. It doesn’t cost you a dime more and it does me a favor. Like the page at facebook.com/HappyDayinWilkes so you don’t miss anything, and if something’s on your mind, leave a letter in my mailbox. Hope y’all have a happy day.
Sung by Brian Kilby. A Wilkes County Bureau of Happy Days production.
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