Department of International Airplay · Now taking requests
The International Request Line
The Bureau is asking every radio station on Earth to play “U-Turn Lane to Walmart.” Pick a station, a newspaper or a government office anywhere on the planet, and the Bureau writes the letter for you. Then put your pin on the map. If they play it, we win. If they ignore us, we win that too.
Primary objective
Bangkok
8,987 miles from the U-turn · Win rate 100%
Now open · Free to play · Works on your phone
Wilkes County Arcade
Thirteen machines · No quarters required
All four U-Turn Lane racers, three snow-day games, Bureau Pinball, a bar fight at the Roundup, Every Head Bowed in the Late Night slot, and the kids’ corners in the back. Every game has a trailer. High scores are kept on the honor system.
Newest: U-Turn Lane 4. Now textured. Still can’t turn left.
Est. 1999 · North Wilkesboro, N.C.
BrianKilby.com
Podcasting since 1999.
Collecting stuff since before that.
Home of the Wilkes County Bureau of Happy Days, Brian’s local podcast out of North Wilkesboro, plus a shelf full of Christmas albums, The Brian Kilby Show archive and the occasional blog post.
Goose control · Sign cleaning · Est. 1999
Wilkes County Bureau of Happy Days
Serving Wilkes County · Business hours vary
Local news, the North Wilkesboro forecast and whatever Brian has opinions about this week, from goose control to the price of a quarter chicken. Thousands of episodes in, filed and stamped by the Bureau.
Bureau Weather Advisory · North Wilkesboro
Windshield Frost Warning
Frost is expected by morning. Residents should budget an additional four minutes.
Tonight: Clear · Low 28° · Wind 1 to 5 mph
Issued 4:00 PM · Source: National Weather Service · Weather Desk →
-
Latest report
Happy Daily 3880: Free Play in Wilkes County
Follow the Bureau
From the Bureau’s filing cabinet
Recent case files
-
U-Turn Lane to Walmart: A New Christmas Song About the 421 U-Turns in North Wilkesboro
They took the left turns off US-421 in North Wilkesboro, so Brian Kilby wrote a Christmas song about it. “U-Turn Lane to Walmart” is the first…
-
Happy Daily 3878: TikTok Around the Clock
The Wilkes County Bureau of Happy Days is going TikTok around the clock, and Instagrammin’ from here to next Tuesday. Brian’s got Christmas videos coming just…
-
Happy Daily 3877: Official Business
Big news out of North Wilkesboro: the Happy Daily is now the official podcast of the Wilkes County Bureau of Happy Days, and Brian is now…
-
Happy Daily 3875 — In Defense of Outdoor Movies (and Highlander)
Wilkesboro is cutting the movies and concerts out of the budget, and Brian has something to say about it. Specifically, he has something to say about…
Also hanging on the pegboard
More from Brian
The Brian Kilby Show
The archive of How Was Your Weekend, where Wendy and Brian talked TV shows, holiday traditions, moving and life in general from 2017 to 2021.
Christmas Ain’t Dead
Ten Christmas albums since 2016, from Christmastime in Wilkes to 2025’s Christmas Ain’t Dead. Every one of them is a free download.
Radio Free Cybertron
The world’s first and oldest toy and action figure podcast, on the air since October 1999. Transformers news, reviews and collecting, every week.
From the blog
-
Godzilla Minus Zero Review: An Elevated Godzilla-Versus Film
Godzilla Minus Zero isn’t quite as impactful as Minus One, but it’s a different kind of Godzilla movie: an elevated Godzilla-versus film…
-
I had Google Gemini make a podcast about the greatest fanfic ever
I present to you, a podcast about Ravage 3 Bodies Evolution.